I finally had the chance to play Metal Gear Solid V: Phantom Pain! And I wish I didn’t because it’s a horrible game…
Before I get started let it be known that I’m not a Metal Gear Solid fan. I have no love for the series and I think it’s one of the most overrated series of all time made by one of the most overrated developers of all time. I went into to Phantom Pain with an open mind though. I try my best to approach every game I play like that and the opening hours of Phantom Pain was painful for me to play through. Before I get into all of the stuff I don’t like let me tell you what I do like.
I like the presentation of this game. The camera work is nice (most of the time) and I enjoyed the build-up to what I think is a mediocre story at best. I know all about the drama of Kojima and Konami and I think I’m one of the few people that agree with Konami letting Kojima go. That’s a different story that I’m pretty sure I already wrote about and that’s not why we’re here. I like the gameplay. It’s solid, but a bit wonky too. Sprinting feels off on both foot and horseback. Combat is good and I like that I can hide the bodies of people that I murder. Putting them to sleep isn’t my thing in this game. And what’s up with the hand to hand combat? It’s horrible and adds absolutely nothing to the game. When I saw the mouse icon pop up I thought I was going to choke the guy out or something. Instead, I started punching and kicking until the dude fell unconscious. The gameplay is solid, but I’ve played better.
Now let us get to what I don’t like about the game. The story is complete shit. It makes no sense and is all over the place. It’s not structured and Kojima tried too hard to make this game a serious thriller when it’s not. It’s more of a comedy. The dude that got shot by an assault rifle took forever to die after he was filled full of led. Only the final shot finished him off. Is this an Anime or a thriller? And why is every enemy bullet sponges? Only headshots take people out with one shot. Unarmored bad guys shouldn’t take half a clip to kill. They just stand there taking bullets and firing back like it’s nothing. The open world works against this game. There’s nothing to do besides head to the objective on the map. The terrain is as boring as they come. Why would I want to bother exploring this world when it’s so bland and boring. Not everything should be open world and this game is an example of that. Open world games are my favorite games. I’ve played a crap ton of them and this has to be my least favorite out of all of them that I’ve played recently. The open world is actually linear in design. Every road leads to an outpost with enemies and there’s little to do (in the desert region) besides boring side missions that I have no interest in playing. This game is the opposite of what an open world game is. Yes, I can approach every situation a little differently, but do I really want to when the other 90% of the game is complete shit?
If any other game had a character like Quiet it would be torn to shreds as being “oversexualized” and “inappropriate”. And why is there so many pervy moments in this game? I’m not against sexy things being in a game, but those scenes added absolutely nothing to the game unless they’re meant to make you horny. Why is it there? I don’t see where all the praise for this game comes from. I feel like I played a different game than everyone else. I keep waiting for this game to become the game that I’ve read about from so many people. When is it going to get great? I shouldn’t have to play 30+ hours to get to the good shit. If there’s even good shit to get to. You can consider this my review of what I’ve played so far because I’m not going back to Phantom Pain. It’s a painfully average game that I don’t have to the patience to complete. There’s too much interesting stuff out right now for me to invest my time in than this game.
Did you play Phantom Pain? Did you enjoy it? Am I crazy for not liking this game?
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