Tomb Raider Review

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This was the first Tomb Raider game i’ve ever played all the way through. I’ve never liked any of the previous Tomb Raider games and I went into this game with a negative mindset. It looked like a Uncharted clone and I hate that series. First off, let me say that Tomb Raider is a beautiful game. Lara Croft isn’t the badass hero that everyone knows, and loves, soon after the game starts you’re stranded on an Island, hung upside downside from a rope and you {the player} have no idea how she got there. One thing I was highly disappointed with in this game is the number of quick time events.

The first 2 hours of the game has about five or six quick time events and they’re all annoying as hell. I found myself absolutely hating the game because of this, but I forced myself through it. After you hunt your first deer, fight off some wolves, and finally reunite with your friends the game does get better. The main goal of the game is to find a way off the island. Anyone that tries to leave is swallowed up by the storm that literally comes out of nowhere. Solving this mystery becomes Lara’s first goal and it’s quite an adventure.

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For a game that’s based off of puzzle solving, and exploring it sure does have a lot of action in it. Lara is one girl you don’t want to mess with. She will fuck you up! I really enjoyed the stealth in this game. Sneaking up on unsuspecting targets and taking them out in the most brutal way possible, and this game has some of the most brutal deaths I’ve ever seen, is fantastic. When you die it’s really graphic. I’ve been impaled, crushed, thrown off a ledge, burned, and smacked right into a tree from parachuting and fell to my death many times. Parts of this game got pretty intense and it got my heart pumping. I wish there were more tombs to explore in this game since this is a Tomb Raider game. I think the puzzles could have been a lot harder, a lot of times it only took me about ten minutes to solve most of them.

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The weakest part of Tomb Raider is the story. It’s really cliched, if you’ve seen any action movie that’s come out in the last six years then you’ll know what to expect in this game. I laughed at some of the more serious parts of the story because I knew exactly where it was going. I will say it’s a step up from previous Tomb Raider games but it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. The voice acting is good, some characters are really good, while others are just average. The saving grace for this game is the gameplay itself.  I thought it would be full blown Uncharted but it’s a lot more fluid, and the controls are better. Taking cover feels realistic, aiming is nice and precise, and the melee kills are awesome. My final verdict for Tomb Raider is a 7/10. Tomb Raider has little to no replayability, the massive amount of quick time events, and the weak story really brings this game down.

7/10

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Xcom Enemy Within Will Support Mods In The Future

Xcom Enemy Within releases on November 15th. Modding tools won’t be available when the expansion releases but Xcom designer Garth Deangelis said, “modding tools aren’t on the table currently but that doesn’t mean they’re never coming.” As of right now you may only have a single mod active on Enemy Unknown because the new mod will overwrite the old one.

He also had this to say:

“Technically, sure, there’s a lot of support for [Unreal Development Kit] and modding and things like that,”  And, if we were to do it, we’d want to do it right. We’d provide the proper level of tools and support and that takes a little more planning and time to get that right and we’re not on that right now.”

“There are some mods available for Enemy Unknown at the XCOM Mod Nexus, yes. But without dedicated dev tools and an established community, the mod nexus offering will never be as robust as, say, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim’s 581 pages of Steam Workshop mods.”

For the full article go to http://www.pcgamer.com/2013/09/03/xcom-enemy-within-mod-tools-arent-on-the-table-but-might-be-coming-someday/?ns_campaign=article-feed&ns_mchannel=ref&ns_source=steam&ns_linkname=0&ns_fee=0. If you like what you saw here click the Follow Us button and I hope you enjoyed reading this and if you did i’ll have more for you real soon.

Mulan

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Mulan is my all time favorite movie, Witnessing what a young woman would do to save her father touched my heart and left it’s mark. Mulan isn’t like everything other girl. The beginning of movie starts off with her being taught how to be a “proper” lady, She’s expected to get married, have kids, blah, blah, blah. But in her heart she’s different, the beginning of this movie has one of the most beautiful songs i’ve ever heard. The Imperial Army shows up at her village demanding soldiers to help fight in the war. Since Mulan’s father doesn’t have a son he must once again take arms to fight for his emperor but he’s frail, and weak. Seeing this she stole her father’s weapon, and armor and ran away in his place to join the army.

This is where her incredible adventure begins. She befriends a very tiny dragon named, Mushu {Eddie Murphy}, and together they work to bring honor to her family. Mulan is a funny, touching, and sad movie. Witnessing her growth from a inexperienced woman to a battle hardened warrior touched my heart. She earned the respect of her fellow brothers at arms, and even saved their lives on occasion from Shan Yu, voiced by Miguel Ferrel, and even started to fall in love with her captain Li Shang. Mulan gets gravely wounded in battle and her cover is finally blown when Shang discovers that all this time his best warrior is a woman. Instead of turning her over to the authorities he tells her to go.

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But Mulan is hard headed and doesn’t like taking orders so she follows him to the capitol to help protect the emperor from an assassination attempt. I loved everything about this movie. Mulan kicked some serious ass, and will do anything to protect her family. Mushu finally learned how to breath fire like a real dragon, the cricket is finally convinced that he’s good luck, and Mulan restores her family’s honor by saving the emperor and defeating Shan Yu.

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Mulan is a true warrior, and proved that women can do a man’s job by not only joining the army, but saving a kingdom as well.  There is a sequel to this amazing movie but it’s not as good as the original. Mulan is a 9/10. Hit the Follow Us button for the latest and greatest content and i’ll see ya soon.

Top Ten Horror Movies

#10 wish master

What’s scarier then an evil genie that tries to kill you? Not much in my opinion. This movie scared the crap out of me as a kid and I had nightmares for months.

#9 nightmare on elm street

The original Nightmare On Elm Street was the jewel of the series. It was scary, and Freddy was ruthless. This movie had me to scared to sleep because I thought Freddy would come get me.

#8 poltergeist-remake

When I saw that little girl get sucked into her closet as a kid I had my mom go in there to get me everything. I think this is the movie that taught me not to stand to close to the tv.

#7 hellraiser

Hellraiser scarred me for life. To this day i’m scared needles, screws, nails, or anything skinny enough to pierce my flesh. Thanks a lot pinhead… you asshole.

#6 The Ring

The Ring is on here because I’ve honestly never seen anything like it. It’s creepy, and the more I found out about Samara the creepier she became to me. I would’ve thrown her ass down a well too…

#5 the conjuring

The Conjuring is a haunted house movie done right. The excellent sound effects kept me on the edge of my seat. This movie actually scared me at certain parts and I never did feel comfortable after each scare. The suspense of waiting for something scary to happen was great.

#4 night of the living dead

The best zombie movie of all time! To this day I still get chills when I see all them zombies eating people. This is truly a classic.

#3

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The entire Halloween Series. I couldn’t just pick one Halloween movie because I love them all. Micheal Myers is one of the worst nightmares I could have. Watching him stalk, and murder his own family just creeps me the hell out and I personally love what Rob Zombie did with him. Well the first remake anyway…

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Evil Dead is one of those movies that never gets old. It was scary, and hilarious at the same time. I love all of these movies {except the remake} with a passion. I mean look at this picture! It’s hilarious and he looks crazy as hell… but I love it.

#1 stephen-kings-it-pennywise

IT! This movie traumatized me… to this day i’m scared of clowns. I can’t even watch them in cartoons. They just scare the hell out of me. Stephen King’s IT still gives me nightmares and I won’t watch this movie alone. I’ll turn on all the lights and make sure every door, window, and balloon is locked up safely before I even attempt to sleep. IT is the scariest movie I have ever seen.

Aladdin Review

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Disney doesn’t make movies like they used to. Back in the day just about every Disney Movie was made for families {not just for kids but for adults too.} This is one of my daughters favorite movies. Aladdin is a homeless young man with his bestfriend Abu {the monkey}. Together they go around town causing trouble for the town guards by stealing bread, and apples so they won’t starve.

This movie to this day makes me smile. Everything from the music to the voice acting is great. Jafar is one of the best villains of all time. I love everything about him. He doesn’t give a crap about anyone but himself, he lives to be Sultan and he’ll do anything to make sure that happens. After the events in the marketplace Aladdin met a girl named Jasmine and she just so happens to be a princess.

Aladdin is thrown into the dungeon and Jafar, disguised as an old beggar, tricks Aladdin into the Cave Of Wonders. My favorite part of the movie is when Genie {Robin Williams} makes his first appearance and sings one of the most awesome songs ever. He grants Aladdin three wishes and they begin their adventure together to help Aladdin win Jasmine’s heart.

Aladdin is ultimately a movie about love. A young homeless man falls in love with a princess and he knows that unless he, himself becomes a prince then he’ll never have a chance to be with her. Throw in some action, awesome songs, and an incredible villain and you have yourself one awesome movie.

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Everyone’s favorite annoying bird Iago is full of funny moments that would have the entire family laughing their asses off. If I want my kids to settle down all I have to do is play this movie and they’ll gather around the tv and start laughing. I even get distracted with what i’m doing and start watching it too. This movie rekindles my childhood and has a special place in my heart. My final verdict for Aladdin is a 9/10. If you like what you saw here then click the Follow Us button and as always I hope you enjoyed reading this and if you did I’ll have more for you real soon.

Aladdin Review.

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame

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The Hunchback Of Nortre dame is one of favorite movies of all time. I always felt that for a children’s story it was actually pretty dark and that’s cool. The story is about a man named Quasimodo, he is crowned the Pope of Fools and is ridiculed for his deformities. Esmeralda, a beautiful gypsy intervenes and wins the hearts of everyone, including the captain of the guard Phoebus, but also the scorn, and sexual attraction of Quasimodo’s father Claude Frollo. Claude is torn between his sexual desires for Esmeralda and his duties to the church.

Thus begins a dark, and twisted story about a man who will stop at nothing to fulfill his desires. Quasimodo, and Esmeralda form a strong bond, Esmeralda falls in love with Phoebus, whom later on in the movie is almost killed by Frollo because he was jealous of Phoebus, and Esmeralda’s relationship.  He then blames Esmeralda for the act of violence, tortures, Phoebus, and prepares to have them both killed.

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Everything about this movie was perfect. The story, the voice acting, and especially the soundtrack. This has to be the best soundtrack i’ve heard in any children’s movie. I can watch this movie over, and over and it’ll never grow old on me. Witnessing what this man of God will do just to satisfy his lust for Esmeralda was intense. Watching Quasimodo, who was once a afraid of his step father grow the courage to confront was amazing. The Hunchback Of Notre Dame is legendary and that’s why i’m giving it a full 10/10. This movie ruled my childhood and to this day I haven’t found another one that captured me like this one did. If you’re on of the few people that have never watched this movie then stop reading this and go watch it. You won’t be disappointed.  The Hunchback Of Notre Dame is a movie I shared with my kids and watching smile and dance to it made me feel like the happiest man in the world.

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The Devil Inside

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Have you ever watched a movie that had you completely invested in it but when it ended it left you saying,” what the fuck just happened?” That was me after I finished watching this movie. I usually avoid watching movies that’s filmed like this. I call movies like this the “Paranormal Activity Effect.”

The Devil Inside is based off true events, Maria Rossi committed a triple murder during an exorcism performed by a catholic church. She was then placed in a Catholic psychiatric hospital in Rome. Her daughter, Isabella Rossi, travels to Rome 20 years later to find out the truth about her mother. The concept of the movie was good. I can buy a long lost daughter trying to find out if her mother is really crazy or if she was really possessed by a demon when she murdered three people.

Isabella befriends two priests, Ben and David, and they conduct an investigation on her case. This movie had some of the most realistic looking moments i’ve seen in a horror movie. When I saw that girl snap her bones out of place I cringed.

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Yeah, I’m talking about that scene. That shit was creepy and awesome at the same time. When Isabella finally confronted her mother and demon came out I was like, “holy shit she really is possessed!” I was into the movie, I was loving the way it affected everyone in it and I was enjoying myself until “that” ending happened.

Just when I think this movie is going to have an awesome ending it just ended. After Isabella is possessed by the demon {spoiler alert I guess} and Ben is driving them to have an exorcism performed, the demon jumps out of Isabella and into the driver of the car and crashes it. The screen turns black and the movie just ends. When I saw the credits I was just confused. I enjoyed the movie up to that part and the ending just killed it for me. Whether or not the movie is really a true story is irrelevant at this point.

I was expecting a real ending to the movie and it just cuts off after the car accident and they tell us to visit a website for more information. The Devil Inside is a mixed bag for me. I enjoyed the movie all the way to the end but to this day I’ve never bothered to watch it again because of that ending. The Devil Inside’s final verdict is a 6/10. Since I did like the movie I can’t see myself giving it anything lower than an above average score. If we had got a real ending I could have easily given this an 8 but as it stands The Devil Inside is forgettable and ultimately disappointing with it’s final conclusion to what could have been a great film.

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Conker’s Bad Fur Day – Classic Review

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Before I even start going into detail about this game ask yourself one Question. Do you even know what this game is? If you don’t you can still read it of course but old games aren’t really fun to people that are just now seeing them.

I really like this game, Conker’s bad fur day is filled with action, adventure, comedy & even drama. The bad thing about getting into games later on in life is that they become rare, and outdated but cool. They also become very expensive, don’t believe me here take a look for yourself http://www.amazon.com/Conkers-Bad-Fur-Day-Nintendo-64/dp/B00004U1R2

I absolutely enjoy every single moment of this game. At the beginning of this game Conker is drunk and it’s so original that you can’t even compare this game to anything. This game is about Milk, Alcohol, Women, Frying Pans, Guns, Killing, and Teddy Bears that resemble Nazis, seriously they’re called Tediz. Don’t worry about the Tediz though, you eventually get to wipe them off the planet for good. Everything in this game should not be able to talk so it’s ridiculous for me to say that anything talks because everything does… literally! Keys with two eyes on them that you can’t miss… The Keys Have Eyes, sound familiar? Like I was saying. At the beginning of this game you’re drunk and you look like you are having a bad fur day, I guess that’s why the game is called that because Conker has the worst day ever.

There are many enemies in this game that excite you and keep the fun-factor in check. The ultimate Villian of the game is named The Panther King, just like his name sounds he is actually a panther and he’s actually a king… that drinks a lot of milk.

The ojectives can change out of nowhere, from giving a scarecrow booze to smacking keys with a frying pan to pick them up and unlock the doors. After doing all of those things the game skips to a cutscene and the panther king is talking to the professor and he asks the professor to take a look at his end table that sits next to his throne. The professor takes a look as told and tells him that he sees the problem and at this point in the game you’re cracking up because anyone can clearly see that the problem is that a leg is missing from the end table. He tells him to fix the problem and he also tells him that he doesn’t want to get the duct tape out like last time. He seems fine with the threat until he goes in his lab cursing at him behind his back with his German Accent, this is also a funny thing about the game because they bleep it out which makes it even better. The whole point of this game is that the panther king gets a suggestion from the professor that a red squirrel (Conker) would be perfect for the leg.

Conker then finds a piece of chocolate that the professor threw out his window and he eats it. I’m not completely sure because my memory of this game is a little fuzzy but I’m pretty sure chocolate is your health. The last thing I want to talk about is the multiplayer, yes the multiplayer. A game that was released exclusively on the 64 that was also rated M had a multiplayer mode and a good one at that. The multiplayer was one of my favorite parts about the game because it was fast and it gave us many options to choose from. I remember that you can pick factions like the Tediz or the Squirrels if that’s what they were called. You can do all the stuff you did in story mode and more, like turn invisible. It’s an old game that’s why I’m not going into much detail but there isn’t much more to tell you guys because it’s a game that gives you what it promises on the cover. A great game gives you more than what you wanted but a good game gives you the product at face-value.

I give this game a 9/10. This deserves the rating and I don’t care what anyone thinks. You want a 6/10 then go over to IGN where they purposely bash on games, I don’t.

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My Top Ten Games Of 2012

#10   Image

Zenonia 5 is a kickass little game for Android. The fast paced fighting style is exactly what I was looking for and It did not disappoint. I can’t wait until Zenonia 6 it’s going to be sexy.

#9  Torchlight

Torchlight 2 was a breath of fresh air for me. Diablo 3 left a bad taste in my mouth so I used Torchlight 2 as the toothpaste. This game is sexy and it was a lot of fun.

#8  tera

Tera has the best combat i’ve ever played in an MMO. It’s fast and based off player skill instead of quickly mashing your hotkeys to determine who’ll win.

#7  Kingdoms of Amalur

Kingdoms of Amalur is fucking awesome. I’ve never played an rpg with combat like this. The reason why this isn’t higher is because it got repetitive after a while and quest system was whack.

#6  Mortal-Kombat-Komplete-Edition-mortal-kombat-28307201-640-360

Mortal Kombat is a brutal game. I love the fatalities, and whooping some ass with Kitana. Mortal Kombat added a bunch of new modes and for the first time i was able to play on teams with my man.

#5  Soul Caliber V

Soul Caliber V has the best customization i’ve ever seen in a fighting game and that alone is reason enough for me to place it on my list. I also love tearing the females armor off to peak at their undergarments… yeah I said it.

#4   tali

Mass Effect 3 should be in everyone’s top ten. It has one hell of a story, an addictive multiplayer and sexy girls to stare at. What more can a woman want?

#3  images

Guild Wars 2 is one of the best MMO’s i’ve ever played. It has an awesome character creator and the best quest system in any MMO. It completely changed the way MMO’s work and I love that.

#2  star wars

I know this technically didn’t come out last year but I didn’t start playing it until 2012 and it’s my favorite MMO. I love creating my own Jedi or ass kicking Sith and terrorizing everything in site. Star Wars The Old Republic has excellent voice acting and is very addictive. I can play this game all day long.

#1 borderlands

Borderlands 2 is the best co op experience i’ve ever had. My husband and I had so much fun playing through this together. Handsome Jack is a great villain and shooting him in the face was so worth it. Borderlands 2 is my game of the year. If you guys want more sexy content from us just click the Follow Us button and i’ll see ya soon.

The Last Exorcism 2 Review

There are a lot of bad horror movies out there but this has to be one of the worst. The Last Nell Sweetzer somehow survived giving birth to a demon baby and now she’s hiding away from her past in a group home. Nell is convinced that everything that happened to her in the first movie is a bad dream, or at least she refuses to believe any of it actually happened. Nell tries her best to move on with her life but everywhere she goes she is confronted by “demonic figures”. Boring ass jump scares is what I like to call them but hey that’s just me.

It was a pain sitting through this movie. Everything about it just pissed me the hell off! I just wanted the movie to end so I could go home and bitch to all my friends about it but it didn’t. The movie tries it’s best to get you to care for Nell but I honestly just wanted her to die so there would be no excuse for them to make a part 3. Instead a group called The Order Of The Right Hand finds her and convinces her to have another exorcism.

This movie is just filled with one bad scene after another and I highly recommend that you stay far away from this movie. This is by far one of the worst movies that has come out this year. I didn’t think the first movie was even worthy of a sequel but someone did and here it is. My final verdict for The Last Exorcism 2 is a 3/10. This is a terrible movie and I hope it’s the last one. If you enjoyed reading this then click the Follow Us button and I hope you enjoyed reading this and if you did i’ll have more for you real soon.