It’s been a little while since I’ve written one of these. I figured it was about time to do one since I do have some things I want to get off my chest.
I’ve had a rough few days. For the last few days I’ve been battling depression and for the last few days, depression has been kicking my ass… except for today. Today has been a good day. It hasn’t been perfect, but the fact that I’m even writing right now is a good sign because I haven’t felt like doing anything lately. I woke up today feeling pretty good. I even played some Ghost Recon: Wildlands. That was a strange game to play today because I haven’t touched it in months, but I jumped in it and had fun roaming around and doing random shit. Depression has been a pretty serious issue in my life. I considered suicide for awhile because I felt alone and I thought the world would be better off without me in it. The night I was going to do it I met my wife and we spent the whole night talking to each other. So when I say that my wife saved my life I mean it in the literal sense.
My depression this time is nowhere near that deep. I’ve just been sad and I can’t really explain why. It’s multiple things that built up in me all at once. I don’t like where I live, I want to find myself a job that I love doing, and I feel like I’m a bad parent because I can’t give my kids a better life. I know that last part is false, but my mind warps my thoughts and makes me think the worst possible things of myself and everyone else. I haven’t thought of any of that today though, but I am still having some pretty bad nightmares. They’re so bad I wake up with a massive headache every morning. Music has been the way I’ve been coping with this. I’ve been listening to some of everything. Marilyn Manson, Roy Orbison, Luther Vandross, Heart, and many others have found their way onto my Spotify playlist over the last few days. I’ve just been mellowing out and not allowing myself to get worked up or aggravated.
Now let’s get to the fun stuff :).
On the gaming side of things, I’ve been playing Ghost Recon: Wildlands, Final Fantasy XV, and a bunch of phone games. I tried out that Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia (that name!), Onmyoji, and some fanmade Pokemon games. Ghost Recon: Wildlands won the award for best multiplayer game of last year on my game of the year list. It’s a lot of fun and (shockingly) I’ve been having fun playing alone for the last 3 or 4 hours. It’s one of two games that I’ve played since I’ve been depressed and it (shockingly again) is kind of helping me get through it. So… thank you for making Wildlands Ubisoft!
When I play Final Fantasy XV I can get lost in its world. Square Enix has created a fucking beautiful game for me to get lost in. I haven’t played it in a few days because of reasons I stated above. I’ve put almost 20 hours in it and I really want to play through to see how the story plays out. I even went ahead and watched that Kingsglaive movie that Square Enix advertised. I’ll write more about that when I get to the movie section. Final Fantasy XV is a huge departure from what Final Fantasy games used to be. It’s a full-blown action RPG now and I like really like it. I’ve been rediscovering my love for JRPGs lately so it’s good to be playing something meaty from the king of JRPGs.
Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia is a game that Mr. Panda got me interested in by one of his tweets. If you don’t know who that is I recommend giving his blog a follow :). Opera Omnia is a neat Final Fantasy game that lets us play as Final Fantasy characters from multiple games. It has a story mode and it even let me start off as one of my all-time favorite Final Fantasy protagonist (Warrior of Light) and I started with Vivi too (which is awesome!). The gameplay is good, the story is interesting so far, and I just unlocked Tidus. I don’t see myself using him very much because I have Cloud, but he’s there if I change my mind.
Onmyoji is the best phone I’ve ever played. I love how I can summon Yo-kai to aid me in battle and the turn-based combat too. It’s also a really pretty for a phone game. It has a fully voiced story and I love the designs of the Yo-kai that I fight against/summon. I didn’t think I would ever get addicted to a phone game, but I did.
The only movie that I’ve watched in the last month is Kingsglaive. It was a decent movie I guess. It wasn’t anything special and it didn’t make me get attached to the game version any more than I am already. It had some decent action scenes and really good acting, but aside from that, I thought the entire thing was very forgettable.
What have you been up to?